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Suzy and Edith
Confirmation - May 2002

Everybody's seated in my "roomy" livingroom and I get them all to shut up. I thanked everybody for showing up and wanted to inform them that in two weeks will be Nina's Job's Daughter installation and that they will want to clear the first saturday of June NEXT year for when she goes in as Honored Queen. And there begins the first part of our story..... Edith, asks if I have the hall rented for next year. No I don't, the family doesn't make those arrangements. Well, she tells me, it's a little hard to make the arrangements without having the reservation in place. I proceed to explain this particular organization's way of doing things and that it's not exactly like the way things were done in California. I'm ready to go on with the "celebration" that we were all gathered for - nope, Edith needs to continue talking. So she speculates as to how much preparation is needed to get Nina ready for Honored Queen and all of the stuff we need to take care of - again, this group does things differently than she did in California and on a much smaller scale. She won't drop it. She wants to know about colors, and flowers, and food - JESUS!!! It's like I haven't gone through this myself, that I have NO idea what's needed or the time frame I have left to do it in, she's going to HAVE to tell me!!! ugh. My mother rides in to the rescue seeing my obvious frustration that THIS ISN'T THE TIME TO DISCUSS AN EVENT FOR NEXT FRICKING YEAR!!!! Short of slapping her hand over Edith's mouth, Suzy got her to shut up. The time comes for me to cut the cake. So I'm standing in my dinky little kitchen, slicing the cake as Nina delivers the pieces. Suzy saunters in to get herself a drink - and proclaims "Well THAT'S where you put your dishwasher!!!" Okay, we went through this back in April when the damn thing was delivered. She was there as I MEASURED the spot for the stupid thing and then later I called and TOLD her that it fit and is staying in the spot we had measured!!! Surprise, surprise. But proclaiming this in front of all these people was an ideal time to point out that Dee has a new dishwasher and that it came from her belevolent mother - hey everybody, come look at the improvement it makes to her little kitchen!!! She didn't say that, but should have. The party goes off without a hitch, the kids get cool clothes and Ray landed some fun toys... well, there was the cowboy hat Edith gave him... it was evidentally a CENTERPIECE from some AARP thing she went to in the last week and was decorated with silk daisies. To masculanize it she added some plastic HORSES. Thank GAWD Ray has some taste and insisted the froofroo crap be ripped off. Everybody leaves, nearly at the same time, except, of course, Suzy and Edith. I'm tired, but they want to stay and chat. Great. Some time ago I had a confrontation with my grandmother concerning a sewer snake that she insists my ex borrowed and never returned. Edith was sharing a little family history (which I really enjoyed) and she was telling how her father worked at the old Kansas City zoo. She and Suzy were trying to figure out all of the little trinkets they have saved from his time at the zoo - alligator teeth, an ostrich egg, a set of antlers and some other crap. Suzy said she had the teeth and the other crap but she never had any antlers, she doesn't remember there ever being any antlers and she never had the osterich egg. Yes, Edith insists, it was all together. Suzy remembers the egg, but she never had it. Back and forth they went. "Your husband must have gotten rid of it" is exactly what Edith said. Suzy turns to me and says "must be with that sewer snake". Edith gets her hackles up "I remember clearly giving that snake to Rerun" I told her that he never had it here. "Well, he must have gotten rid of it before he got home" she says. I ask what he would have done with it, "he SOLD it" she explained. Yes, there is a sewer snake black market out there, they are highly prized pieces of equipment and go for top dollars. The money one makes from such a deal is perfect for squandering. *sigh* I think I'll buy a new sewer snake and make sure she's buried with the damn thing.

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